We often find ourselves comparing ourselves to others rather than cheering them on, but here’s how to stop comparing yourself to others.
IE 310: How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others & Start Cheering Them On
Why should you not compare yourself to others?
We really need to start with this idea that if you compare yourself to others, you are going to be tricking yourself.
You are bringing on and seeing negatives you wouldn’t ordinarily see if you weren’t comparing yourself.
When you look at someone else and see, oh, they’re doing these extraordinary things.
They’re going to these extraordinary places.
They have this wonderful life.
You are seeing the highlight reel and seeing all of these great things and seeing yourself as not having them.
And because of that, you are reinforcing things that you do not have.
What happens when you stop comparing yourself to others?
You want to flip the script on that and start to cheer them on.
Instead when you actually stop comparing yourself to others, you will find that you are going to be more focused on your business and in what it is that you can do in order to move you forward.
You will find that you can focus more on the goals that you want to hit and the way in which you want to move your business.
Things to do to stop comparing yourself to others
Remove the triggers
If you know that there is someone on social media that you constantly find yourself going, Ugh, then I want you to stop following them.
Don’t watch and see what they’re doing.
Whether that is family or whether that is another influencer or blogger, whoever it might be.
If there’s something about them that triggers you to see yourself as a failure or not succeeding.
Just stop following them. Take that trigger out!
Be grateful for your journey
I feel like I constantly remind my kids of this.
I’m also constantly reminding my clients as well.
Your journey is not the same as anyone else’s and you need to be grateful for the journey that you are on because that journey is yours.
Some of us might be at a point where we don’t have any babies in the house anymore.
Maybe we’re empty nesters, or maybe we are going through something with a family member being really sick that is taking our focus.
You have to make sure that you are grateful for the journey that you are on and know that it is yours.
No one’s journey is happening the same way that yours is.
Know that your obstacles today are your strengths tomorrow
When you get past those obstacles and have learned, you’ve become a stronger person.
So now the next obstacle that comes in your way isn’t going to feel as difficult and will be easier to get over.
Listen to uplifting and positive podcasts
It is so simple to put a pair of earbuds in your ear and go for a walk.
You’re probably already walking your dog or getting out and doing gardening.
Put some EarPods in and find some podcasts that are going to inspire you.
You constantly hear guests on my show that also have podcasts. Look them up and start listening.
One of the most recent guests that we had is Theresa Forever where she talked about how you can achieve your goals.
She has a podcast.
She is one of the most uplifting women I have met in a very long time.
And you probably heard me say that to her in that interview that I did.
Go to her podcast, search her name, make it one of the ones that you’re listening to and put the air pods in your ears and make sure that you are getting that positive reinforcement from others that are going to inspire and uplift you.
Surround yourself with positive people
Sometimes the people that we have in our personal lives are our triggers.
Maybe they are the ones that need the reinforcement to look at things from a different standpoint.
I am one of the people that I look at a glass and see it as half full.
Whereas I have family members that look at it as half empty and therefore I have had to try to help them start to see the positive, giving them ways in which they can become more uplifting because they do have a tendency to trigger me when they’re constantly so negative.
If they are not your family members, if they are friends or they are bloggers that you were in Facebook groups with, and they are constantly being negative, you can remove yourself.
You can disassociate from people like that and find people that are going to be positive and up lifting.
Now that’s not to say that some people aren’t going to be frustrated with the obstacles that are coming into their lives and maybe seem a little down at times, but if they can’t find the positive and see a way in which around it, or try to find a way around it, that’s where you may need to disassociate yourself from those people.
But if you get to a point where you just can’t take on the burden of changing them then find a different Facebook group.
find a different community that is going to uplift you.
Mastering Your Influence, my membership site is a community of women looking to uplift each other.
I cannot tell you the conversations that we have had about anything from our kids to our marriages, to our businesses and how they’re all impacted by our business.
I think that’s something we forget as women because we are used to reading self-help books by men, and they will tell you need to compartmentalize everything.
Meanwhile they often have a wife at home who is dealing with everything else so that they can compartmentalize everything.
And we, as women, cannot do that.
We still have to be very involved with our family, our home, and the finances.
Everything that goes on.
Therefore, trying to figure out ways that you can make sure that you are surrounded by people that are understanding and are working to find ways to overcome their obstacles so they can continue to move their business forward, is imperative to your success.
Cheer on others successes
Don’t see their positive things just as the highlight reel.
Instead you want your inner voice to say, “Look at what they are doing. That is amazing. I want to someday be able to share something like that.”
My best friend said to me about six months ago, “I see Instagram as I get to cheerlead them on. I’m so proud of them for what they have been able to do.”
That is a mindset shift.
You have to look at it that way so that you don’t see yourself in the comparison window.
Do the work and implement
When I say this, I’m talking about reading self-help books with female voices.
Don’t just rely on the male voices that are going to tell you, “Here’s a productivity tip, just eat the same thing every day and wear the same thing and make as little decisions as you can in your personal life.”
That is a load of crap.
How many decisions did you all just make before you got the kids out the door?
Normally I’m making about 17 decisions before I’m even out the door with the kids and that’s at seven o’clock in the morning.
How am I possibly not going to make any decisions in my personal life?
That’s just not something that we can do.
So do the work, find the voices that are going to speak to you at a different level that are going to talk to you about the things that you are struggling with, whether you are struggling with mindset, whether you are trying to find a way to be more productive, or if you’re trying to understand a sales process, find the voices.
Use references and ask other women, what are the books that you’re reading that you have found helpful.
One of the books that I absolutely love is We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rodgers.
She is so powerful and so strong in the words that she uses and inspires.
Find someone for accountability
Find someone else that’s going through the struggles that you are going through so that you can also help them as well as they help you.
Now, if you are looking for something like that, and you’re looking for people that are going to be able to hold you accountable to your goals, as well as give you strategies in order to grow your business, then you might be a perfect fit for one of my masterminds programs.
Or if you are looking for one-on-one coaching.
That is also something that I offer.
I want to be able to be the best teacher that I possibly can be to you so send me a dm if you’re not sure which program might be the best fit for you and I’ll make sure you’re in the right place
Action Steps:
- If you liked this episode of Influencer Entrepreneurs, please subscribe and leave a fabulous review!
- Join the conversation on Instagram by tagging Jenny when you’re listening to the podcast. She’ll send you a personal message whenever you tag her.
